bluffing

they sure are better than me. better education, better mind, direct and no struggle to find what they want. damn me and my thoughts. cant sustain weight, even though that same feeling is some strange weight. oh lord, im the lord. the only one i say, jokingly to those crumbling walls of my sanity. I think i have done what i jad to do, yet i find no emotion in people but in what we can do.  a dilemma when alone. crazed by those inhaled dreams buried deep into the reflection of nothing. no book, no one to feel alive but or in control or without, but no one who challenges me to rise up from this sorrow. an interrogation of the spectra.